There have been times when friends have said they’ve hooked up with someone and all it means is that they had a highly anticipated kissing session. Other times it’s a full-on all-night sex-a-thon. Can’t we have a universal understanding of the term, once and for all? From now on, let’s all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is ‘made-out.’

That’s the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.

I enjoy watching people fall in love on-screen so much that I can suspend my disbelief for the contrived situations that only happen in the heightened world of romantic comedies. I simply regard romantic comedies as a sub-genre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world. Then I just lap it up. There is no difference between Ripley from “Alien” and any Katherine Heigl character. They’re all participating in the same level of made-up awesomeness, and I enjoy every second of it.

I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it’s possible, and because I want it for myself.

All women love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George VI- at this point, he could play the Craigslist Killer and people would be like, ‘Oh, my God, the Craigslist Killer has the most boyish smile!’